Q&A: How former Duke Basketball walk-on Sean Kelly wins the game of social media
Sean Kelly is a former Duke Basketball player who spent three years as a student manager before earning a spot as a scholarship walk-on his senior year. His team went on to win the 2015 National Championship. (#NBD 🏀 ) Now an admissions associate at Carlthorp School in Santa Monica, he recognizes the powerful potential of social media and hopes to help students “win” on their favorite platforms.
Do you remember your first social media account? Where was it and why did you start using it?
SEAN KELLY: I got an AIM messenger account in middle school because everyone at school had one. I felt like I was missing out. My parents didn’t really know what it was, but we had just one family computer, and they kept an eye on everything I did on it. I generally used it to talk to classmates.
Did you get social media coaching from parents, teachers or peers? If so, what did you find to be the most helpful bit of advice?
SEAN KELLY: I remember being told that I wasn’t allowed to have a Facebook account, so early on in high school, I just made one anyway. My older brother never had one, or if he did he deleted it, and my parents at the time weren’t using it (though my dad eventually joined and we had to follow him there). Though I never got any direct advice, I was pretty much a goodie-two-shoes who lived on the school’s campus with my family growing up. My mom worked there, and I didn’t want to make her look bad.
“If I see something I like, I post it. I’m not concerned about the number of likes.”
On your LinkedIn profile, it says you are highly skilled in social media. Tell me more about that — how you learned to use it, your most valuable plays on social media, etc.
SEAN KELLY: When I was a student manager at Duke, I tried to analyze the social media accounts of the Duke Men’s Basketball team as a way to build my resume and gain more responsibility with the team. We never published my findings and, honestly, never really saw it through. But I learned a lot doing it, using a couple of sites to help determine which posts got the most engagement, etc.
Personally, the experience of going from a student manager with a personal Instagram account to a player with a personal Instagram account was a huge change. I went from a couple of hundred followers to thousands, very quickly. And I was getting DM’d by kids wanting tips on how they could walk on, too.
Suddenly there’s a fanbase that wanted to engage, and that definitely framed what I posted. It altered the type of posts, but not really how or my attempted humor. I was always passionate about Duke Basketball, but now I had pictures of me working out next to Coach K and was talking about the benefits of working with him. When the team won the national championship, I was posting team pics after every round.
There were times I loved being DM’d by some people but others, like those who asked for autographs and stuff, were odd. If it was someone who was really interested in the story and about what I did to walk on, I always tried to give honest, good advice. It all cooled down, of course. In fact, I lost a lot of Instagram followers when I got married. The Duke fans aren’t as thrilled about that, I guess! When I post a throwback Duke picture, it gets more engagement than anything.
“You represent [on social media] who you’re associated with. ….It can be a hard lesson for people to learn in the professional world.”
At The Social Institute, we say that social media is a game in the world, one you can win or lose, and the field is your phone. One way we coach teen to win this game is by running them through what we call Social Sprints: These are real-life scenarios that kids have shared with us. We want to know what you would do, and you have to think fast!
You are eating pizza with friends, and they are all in a group chat with you. You see that they deleted a classmate from the chat and start saying mean stuff about that person. What do you do?
You first have to tell everyone that you’re not comfortable talking about someone behind their back. Then reach out to that other friend. Create a new group with that friend if the first group doesn’t invite you and him back.
A friend sends you a picture of a private text message he had with another friend. It includes information that was not meant for you to see, and you know that the other student wouldn’t want you seeing it. What do you do?
First, delete the picture from your phone so that you’re not in possession of it. Then, discuss it with the friend who sent it — why they thought it was OK. Encourage him to go back to the friend he was texting and admit fault. Or have a conversation with the third friend and warn them to be careful with the texts you’re exchanging with this other friend.
You log onto your Instagram account, and you see a message from one of your classmates. The message says that a lot of people in your class are planning to cheat on an upcoming test, and it asks if you want to cheat, too. What do you do?
That’s a scary situation. You don’t want to be the odd man out, but you don’t want to compromise your personal character. You could say I’m sorry but I’m not comfortable with it, and if you can, convince the class not to partake. You don’t want to be a tattletale, but you also don’t want to be a bystander either. Some schools/colleges require you to share what you know if someone is breaking the law. It’d be hard to convince the classmate that messaged you not to partake and cancel the thing, but you might share that you have a moral obligation to pass it along to the teacher if they choose to go through with it. Hopefully, that would shut it down before anyone does anything they later regret.
Someone tells you that what you’re posting on social media isn’t appropriate. You’re confused because all you post is pictures of your dog and what you eat. But when you log in, you see other photos and realize that someone hacked into your account. What would you do?
If you have access to your account, delete the inappropriate stuff and change the password. Then I’d probably share a follow-up post letting everyone know what happened and that it wasn’t you or that it doesn’t represent your character, whatever was shared. And then I’d change all the passwords on my accounts, just in case. You want to make sure you weren’t hacked anywhere else.
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What were some lessons you learned about social media when working as the student manager of Duke Men’s Basketball?
SEAN KELLY: The first thing I learned was that you represent who you’re associated with. So you have to own and be responsible for the standards of those you’re associated with. Your ideas/opinions are not entirely yours when you’re associated with a larger brand. It can be a hard lesson for people to learn in the professional world. People at work see something that’s not appropriate on social, and if it’s not up to par, you can get in trouble.
The second thing I learned — just from watching athletes and following them on social — is not to post from a place of negative emotion. It can be a distraction for you and your team. Similarly, don’t react to negative posts. Here’s why:
- People hide behind their accounts, and they won’t be convinced either way. You will NEVER convince them they’re wrong. They thrive on the engagement. They’re just there to stir up the pot. If you look at their account, you’ll see they’re ripping on other players/people, too. They just post negative stuff.
- If you’re getting sucked in, you’re being brought to their level. It’s not worth compromising your character and who you are, even if you respond positively. So even if you don’t lose the argument, you lose because they got what they wanted — a rise out of you.
It’s tough, though! You want to respond to every single one, to defend yourself or someone else, and I’m sure at least once I did that.
Now that you’ve graduated from college and are starting a career, how has your use of social media changed?
SEAN KELLY: The thing that took up almost all of my time changed. My first job out of college was in a mail room, which wasn’t as exciting as playing Bball. So I posted other things — yoga, a day at the beach, etc. My core has changed.
I don’t post anything work-related on Instagram mostly because I work with kids and there are privacy issues, and I never want to upset the parents or the kids. If we go on a field trip, for example, I’ll post pictures of monuments but not the kids. But my social media strategy has never changed: If I see something I like, I post it. I’m not concerned about the number of likes.