Why parents should sign a technology contract, too
The document is called all kinds of things: a tech contract, a media agreement, a digital citizenship commitment of conduct (OK, we made up that last one). But whatever you call it, this document is a super popular parenting tool when it comes to digital and social.
We researched many of these online and found two similarities among them:
- The phrase “I will not…” repeated multiple times
- A line for the child to sign on
We get it: Being safe means not doing unsafe things. We also get that these contracts are meant to keep the child accountable, so of course, they should sign it. And the tool must be working — Google “technology contract” and the top four results (the top five if you include the image results) are tech contracts for families, not, say, for information technology services companies. Think about that for a minute.
Family tech contracts can be improved upon, big time.
We also think family tech contracts can be improved upon, big time, by turning them on their heads:
- Students have told us they want to know what to do when it comes to digital and social, so the contract should focus on the do’s, not the don’ts. We call the do’s standards.
- Students have told us that they look up to the adults around them for guidance, so everyone in the family should be held to the same standards. Everyone should sign the contract.
Let’s start with standards
They’re not rules; they’re goals. They empower; they don’t scare. And you can’t meet them alone; you need a team behind you.
These Social Standards are what guide every conversation we have about social media at The Social Institute, every blog post we write, every article we share. And they are the backbone of our version of a tech contract: the Family Social Standards Agreement.
- Protect your privacy
- Play to your core
- Cyberback others
- Strike a balance
- Build a strong team
- Use your mic for good
- Huddle often
You can read more about them here. Anyone who follows them will win the game of social — parents and children, teachers and students, adults and kids alike. You may have noticed that none of our standards starts with “don’t.” In fact, they could all start with “do.”
Let’s talk about accountability
We believe that children of all ages need role models to emulate more than they need contracts to sign, even when it comes to tech and social.
If you set your phone on the dinner table, they notice. If you take your laptop into the bedroom with you at night, they see that. Do you text while driving? Look down at your phone instead of at others when talking to them? Express frustration about a neighbor’s Facebook post? Talk about a friend’s Instagram pic negatively? Your child is taking it all in.
We rely on others to show us what’s possible.
Why? Marian Wright Edelman, an American activist for the rights of children, said, “You can’t be what you can’t see.” We rely on others to show us what’s possible.
All that to say this: Parents, you are the most important role model for your children when it comes to technology use. That’s why we think every family member should sign a tech contract. The standards in our Family Social Standards Agreement are meant to be lived up to by entire families, not just the youngest members.
Not only does this keep everyone accountable, but it also encourages regular communication about the challenges of protecting your privacy, cyberbacking others, playing to your core.
And THIS, this regular communication about the hard stuff, is the ultimate game changer.