Navigating the ‘Mewing’ and ‘Stay-At-Home Girlfriend’ trends popular with students
Be sure to check out the suggested Huddle question at the bottom of this article to discuss this important topic with your students in class, if you feel it is appropriate.
It’s natural to be interested in popular social media trends. Following others’ lead gives us a sense of belonging and reassures us because we’re following the status quo. Students are especially susceptible to trends. In the 2010s, we saw the Harlem Shake dance and Ice Bucket Challenge explode among students. Today, two popular trends students are picking up on are ‘mewing’ and ‘stay-at-home girlfriends.’ ‘Mewing’ is a way to nonverbally say, “I can’t talk right now,” and ‘stay-at-home girlfriends’ (SAHGFs) are young women who rely on their romantic partners for financial support rather than working, similar to many stay-at-home wives. There are over 286,000 videos under #mewing on TikTok and over 10,000 tagged under #stayathomegirlfriend.
While trends aren’t inherently bad, they can influence students into adopting behaviors that may not play to their core or reflect their true values in their actions. For example, the ‘mewing’ trend might encourage students to “shush” their educators in a way that they might see as silly but that educators perceive as dismissive or rude. The popularity of SAHGFs can potentially make students feel pressured to adopt a lifestyle that seems attractive on social media but doesn’t align with their goals or interests.
Understanding current trends helps educators support students in navigating online pressures. It empowers educators to engage students in meaningful conversations about trends that help students decide which trends to follow. Let’s learn more about these two popular trends, ‘mewing’ and the ‘SAHGF,’ and what they can teach us.
Why are students ‘mewing?’
‘Mewing’ began trending on social media in 2022 as a supposed non-surgical way to define the jawline and has remained a viral sensation since then. Under its original definition, ‘mewing’ merely involves flattening one’s tongue against the roof of the mouth to create tension, which some people believe strengthens jaw muscles and creates a sharper look.
However, students have changed the gesture and are using it differently. Among students, ‘mewing’ involves pursing your lips, putting your finger up to your mouth, and then pointing your finger to your lips. It’s a subtle way of saying, “I can’t talk right now.”
An educator showing what ‘mewing’ looks like
Students have adopted this new form of ‘mewing’ to show they’re not interested in a conversation or topic. They may feel like it’s a quick, simple, and lighthearted way to express disinterest. For educators who grew up in the 90s, you might relate it to the “talk to the hand” trend that was popular in that decade.
Educators have mixed feelings about this trend. Some think that while ‘mewing’ can feel like being silenced, which can cause stress and insecurity, students’ intentions are generally innocent. They mostly want to entertain friends or participate in a trend. These educators suggest responding to ‘mewing’ creatively and lightheartedly. For example, one teacher has shocked students into stopping ‘mewing’ by barking, telling students their “bark cancels out mews.”
Others see ‘mewing’ as intentionally disrespectful and argue educators must face the issue more directly.
“They absolutely understand how dismissive and disrespectful it is of the person that’s trying to engage with them, especially in a learning environment,” said Teresa Kaye Newman, a teacher in Texas. “They also understand how hurtful it can be.”
Regardless of your opinion on ‘mewing,’ addressing the phenomenon head-on sets clear boundaries about communication in the classroom, creating a respectful environment that promotes learning. Talking openly with students about ‘mewing’ can also spark a conversation about the importance of carefully thinking about whether a trend plays to your core before participating.
What we can learn from the ‘stay-at-home’ girlfriend trend
Students may be ‘mewing’ to avoid conversations, but why do they want to be stay-at-home girlfriends? In essence, influencers on TikTok portray the ‘stay-at-home girlfriend’ trend as glamorous, comfortable, and fun. SAHGFs spend their time doing errands, attending expensive workout classes, eating at nice restaurants with friends, and shopping. The seemingly endless free time and financial support to do the activities they enjoy makes the lifestyle aspirational for many students and helps explain its popularity on social media.
Some SAHGFs have clarified that the lifestyle they present on TikTok is a fantasy, not real: either their lives aren’t as easy as they seem, or they do financially support themselves despite saying they depend on their partners. In other words, you can’t trust everything you see on social media, as many creators play up a persona or hide certain truths to gain followers.
“I believe it is incredibly important for anyone in a similar situation to have some sort of financial security,” said Kendal Key, a TikTok SAHGF with over 500,000 followers. “This can look different for everyone, but I still make money doing content creation, and I have savings from when I was working a lot.”
Thinking more critically reveals how the trend represents shifts in priorities among some young people. It reflects a disenchantment with modern hustle culture or the social pressure to “climb the ladder” at demanding jobs, which often causes burnout. Some young women have responded to these pressures by prioritizing self-care and comfort, which the SAHGF lifestyle is all about. While younger students may not be thinking about these issues, they absorb their role models’ stress. Everyone benefits when older students and adults manage outside pressures in a way that works for them.
Staying at home may be one way to promote well-being, but opinions on the trend are mixed. Some argue that being a stay-at-home partner significantly reduces stress and emphasize that everyone should be able to choose to stay home if they are able. Others think the trend is regressive and reinforces harmful stereotypes that a woman’s worth is tied to her appearance, homemaking skills, and relationships. Encouraging students to think critically about the trend can help them develop well-informed, personal thoughts rather than simply following the crowd.
Regardless of their opinions on SAHGFs, the trend can be a launchpad for conversations about personal choices, navigating others’ expectations, future romantic relationship dynamics, and more. Since more than 50% of students consider an educator a mentor, educators’ guidance on these complex, important topics is invaluable.
Helping students navigate the ‘mewing’ and SAHGF trends and play to their core
Talking about ‘mewing’ and SAHGFs with students can feel challenging. It means having sensitive talks about respect and societal pressures and treating competing views equally important and valid. Working through these trends is a great way to help students build positive, respectful habits and empower them to make the best decisions, regardless of outside influences.
Here are a few tips you can use in the classroom to empower your students:
- Have an open conversation with students about ‘mewing’
- Ask students to be honest about why they are ‘mewing’ — is it to communicate disinterest, entertain classmates, or for another reason? Then, be clear about how being shushed makes you feel. Sometimes, a simple conversation can go a long way in building mutual respect and understanding.
- Emphasize that even small actions build your reputation and communicate your character
- Students may not realize the impact of something seemingly small like ‘mewing.’ Remind them that their actions reflect their character and to think carefully about whether ‘mewing’ truly represents who they are.
- Get creative in how you respond to ‘mewing’
- Brainstorm unique ways to react to ‘mewing’ that may work for your class. Consider working with students to think of interesting, respectful ways to express disinterest or discomfort. Or, take a page from another educator’s book and come up with a lighthearted response to ‘mewing’ that still sets clear boundaries.
- Help students reflect on their visions and goals for the future
- Create a non-judgmental environment for students to share what they hope their adult lives will look like. This helps students realize whether a stay-at-home lifestyle is what they really want or if it just looks good online.
- Encourage students to play to their core
- When we share and consume honest and authentic content, we break down the glamorization of certain lifestyles and pressures to conform to society’s expectations. When we focus on being true to ourselves, we don’t feel confused about the “right” path between being a stay-at-home partner or pursuing a career.
It’s important to play to your core, online and offline: it helps ensure that you’re reflecting who you are and what you believe in everything you do. For more tips on this topic, check out our #WinAtSocial Lesson on Reflecting our values in the content we share and consume.
#WinAtSocial Huddle Question
Huddle with your students
In this discussion, we’ve learned about two trends popular with students: a new way students are “shushing” their educators, and “stay-at-home girlfriends,” young women who do not work as their romantic partners support them financially. What is your opinion on these trends? In what ways do these trends reflect or go against your values?
The Social Institute (TSI) is the leader in empowering students by understanding students. Through #WinAtSocial, our gamified, peer-to-peer learning platform, we equip students, educators, and families to navigate their social world – in the classroom and beyond, online and offline – in healthy, high-character ways. Our unique, student-respected approach empowers and equips, rather than scares and restricts. We incorporate timely topics about social media, tech use, and current events that are impacting student well-being and learning. #WinAtSocial Lessons teach life skills for the modern day, capture student voice, and provide school leaders with actionable insights. Through these insights, students play an essential role in school efforts to support their own health, happiness, and future success as we enable high-impact teaching, meaningful family conversations, and a healthy school culture.